Routine schmoutine!!!

When I was pregnant with my eldest daughter, I made sure that I thoroughly read all that was printed on bed time routines, sleeping patterns, etc etc. You see, sleep is VERY important to me. More important in fact than breathing. If I had to choose between the two, sleep would win hands down! I need my sleep to function correctly as a human being!!!



I am pedantic about sticking to the "familiar bed time routine", which in our house consists of the following:

1. Put both girls in the bath and beg them not to fight over the bath toys, not to stand up in the bath, not to wet their hair and please please please tonight can you not splash the bath water over the entire bathroom.

2. Get their pyjama's out ready to put on and prepare their beds in the vain hope that they might actually sleep in them.

3. Return to the bathroom to sort out the first fight over the Winnie the Pooh bath toys that are coveted like gold.

4. Set the table for dinner, making sure that I have put the correct coloured plates in front of them, as it is probably completely different from the colour that they "just loved" last night!

5. Return to the bath to retrieve the towel that has been dragged into the water and try to mop up some of the mess whilst slipping and sliding on the bathroom floor.

6. Get the toddler out of the bath whilst trying not to slip over and attempt to get her dry whilst she kicks and screams and tantrums as she was having so much fun "swimming" in the bath.

7. Wrestle her up to her bedroom and use all my powers of pursuasion and bribery to get her nappy and pj's on.

8. Return to the bathroom and skid across the wetlands that the girls have created in their this evening to get miss 4 year old out whilst trying to keep miss toddler from climbing back in fully dressed.

9. Allow "miss independant 4 year old" to put her own pyjamas on backwards and then help her when she gets angry because she "can't do it".

10. Sit at the dining table and eat 1/4 of my dinner whilst coaxing both girls to eat the bits they like which usually consists of 1 grain of rice and perhaps a carrot stick for fibre this evening.

11. Let the girls dance with abandonment in the lounge room whilst I crawl around on my hands and knees underneath the table retreiving the bits of dinner, so lovingly prepared, that neither of them liked.

12. Wrestle miss toddler up to the bathroom and get her in a headlock in order to brush her teeth all the while listening to her once again scream "no no no" as though I am trying to murder her when I am fact trying to be diligent with her dental hygiene!

13. Take miss toddler up to her bedroom and give her her bed time bottle and pop her into bed with her music on and kiss her goodnight all the while praying that this is the night the "routine" will work and she will peacefully go off to sleep.

14. Return to the lounge room to coax/bribe/beg miss 4 year old to sit still so she can have her hair brushed out and explain that I am not trying to rip the hair from her head because I am really a mean evil witch who enjoys inflicting pain on 4 year olds with lovely long princess hair.

15. Agree to read 6 stories tonight in return for being allowed to finish brushing out the hair!

16. Head up to miss toddler and put her music back on for her and kindly inform her that it is time to stop calling "mummy, daddy, beep beep, wiggles, mickey mouse" and ever other word that she can think of at the time to get my attention, and go to sleep.

17. Take miss 4 year old off to bed and read said 6 stories whilst answering her myriad questions regarding every story and picture in the books and secretly wishing that the naturally inquisitive mind would just go to sleep now.

17. Head back up to miss toddler and through gritted teeth inform her that it really really is time to stop calling out and go to sleep!

18. Sit in the lounge room watching the clock, listening to the shouts and place bets on how long it will take her to pass out tonight.

19. Finally breath a sigh of relief 1 hour 47 mins later when all is finally quiet and settle down to watch some light entertainment on the tv.

20. Fall asleep half way through the show, only to miss the ending, then drag myself off to bed to get some sleep before it all begins again for the "morning routine"

Great isn't it!