Oh What a Beautiful Morning!

There's nothing like getting yourself worked into a sweat before you even drive out of the garage in the morning, especially when you haven't been exercising!
Yesterday morning was one of those mornings where I felt as though I'd done a 3.7 km run prior to pulling out of the garage for the trek to childcare!
It was all going "well", we'd only had weetbix smeared on the blinds and carpet during breakfast and a small tantrum from Lotus, (the 19 month old), over her desperate need to take every single dvd out of the cupboard for inspection, until, we were down to the 20 minute mark, (20 mins to go before needing to leave the house in order to make it to work on time). It is usually at this point of the morning that I begin to brace myself for the hell that is about to be unleashed, (to quote from the dashing Russell Crowe in Gladiator).
I've headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth, etc, whilst the girls supposedly sat watching the abc and finishing their toast, (their 2nd lot of breakfast as the weetbix weren't up to scratch yesterday apparantly!), waiting for me to return. Instead of this activity, they chose 2 very different forms of entertainment.
Lotus decided to head for my walk in robe where she methodically removed each and every piece of jewellery from my draw and deposited them amongst the shoes never to be found again. She also thought it was just a hoot to bend each silver bangle into various shapes, never to be round and therefore worn, ever again. She also found great enjoyment in distributing the remainder of her toast throughout the, now empty, jewellery draw and then spraying it all in a lovely coating of Emporio Armani She. Just to get rid of that, "unwanted toast" smell!
London, my 4 year old, had other ideas. She was keen to join me in the bathroom so that she could try the various creams and items of make up sitting on the side of the sink. Her curious mind drew her attention to the mascara in its shiny purple container, and I kid you not, in the 30 seconds it took me to gargle some mouth wash, spit it out and turn to wipe my mouth on a towel, she had created a semi permanent tattoo on her face!
So, in the midst of trying to find something to get the damn mascara from London's face, I had to also crawl around and try and collect my items of jewellery out of my shoes, attempt to pull a kicking, screaming, tantruming Lotus from the walk in robe, and finish my own hair and make up.
After lying the kicking Lotus on the floor in the hall way so she could kick the wall down, I struggled to wipe the mascara from London's face, only to be informed that she needed to do a poo. At this point we had 5 minutes till lift off. I sat her on the toilet and returned to Lotus to remove her from the hallway and into the lounge room where , hopefully, she could kick something other than the walls. It was during this manouver that I realised that she had also pooed.
As I wrestled Lotus back down the hallway, still kicking and carrying on, I yelled to London to wait until I came back before she came off the toilet. Unfortuneatly, London hasn't quite got the hang of the bum wiping business yet and still really needs me to help to make sure its all good to go!
So, I'm down in Lotus's room, wrestling, struggling and starting to sweat profusely, whilst trying to get the damn poo cleaned up and a clean nappy on her, all the while yelling for London to wait for me! Lotus is clenching her bum cheeks so she can't be wiped and pushing my hands away and trying to kick me in the chest, and I'm desperately trying to get this done as fast as I can so that I can wipe London's bum, finish getting ready and get to bloody work on time for once!
I finally manage to get Lotus sorted out and head back to the bathroom only to find London missing and the toilet not flushed. I shout for her and she answers back from the lounge where she has returned to watch the abc.
On checking her wiping action I realise that she had pretty much missed most of it and was now in need of new nicks to wear for the day and I still needed to finish my own make up and flush that bloody toilet!
We are now late by 1 minute and I am sweating and panicking and rushing around collecting bags, hats, jackets etc and loading all and sundry into the car ready for our departure.
I decided to load the girls in and go back to finish my face but got side tracked by Lotus demanding her dummy and London demanding a book to read on the trip to childcare.
Therefore, I ended up going to work with just my foundation on and the lip stain without the gloss over the top! Needless to say that my lips felt as though I'd been out in a blizzard all night and as though they were going to crack apart if I even opened them slightly to breathe!
But the best part of all was that I never did remember to return and flush the toilet, which was by the way, the one in my ensuite. So after the beautiful morning, and a day full of demanding clients, I finally returned home to the sanctuary of my bedroom smelling like a mix of the toast and perfume in my jewellery draw mixed with London's poo that had sat in the toilet all day long!
No wonder I'm mad!