Ok, so I haven't blogged for AGES, mostly due to the fact that I started at Uni this year! Yes thats right, Uni. On top of managing 2 girls under school age, my part time job as a travel agent extrodinaire, training for my first ever City to Bay fun run, and organising our trip to the UK and Italy, I decided to add a Uni degree to that mix! As if I didn't have enough on my plate already!
Well, I can tell you that the traning for the fun run was the first activity to take a severe dive! I love to run but haven't found the time over the past 2 weeks so I can safely say that I won't be lining up on that starting line this year!
Secondly, thanks to one very annoying volcano, all hell has broken loose in the travel industry of late so I have spent the last month or so reorganising most passengers travel plans. Thanks stupid volcano, can you go back to sleep now????
Uni itself has been an eye opener. The work load is incredible! Who knew! All very exciting but rather time consuming and I am struggling with those cog wheels in my brain, they don't seem to move as nimbly as they did "pre daughters"! All is well however, aside from a slight lull in motivation, (and understanding), last month. We are on the down hill slide to the end of this study period.
In 4 weeks we are off to the UK and Italy with a 2 year old and an almost 5 year old in tow! Should make for some hilarious times I am sure and I will use this blog to keep you informed of our journey and hopefully amused!
Stayed tuned for the adventures...............
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Swimming with baby
Here in Australia most of us are aware these days of the perils of the backyard swimming pool or even the bath for that matter and we are pretty much all shit scared of it all! Hence, the prolific rise and rise of the "baby swimming/water classes". I think they are EXCELLENT, but let's face it, not all of our little one's take to it like the proverbial "duck to water". Here is a snippet of how my 20 month old daughter is coping with her lessons!
I started her 3 weeks ago at age 19 months. We have started in the "advanced water babies" class which is primarily focussed on water awareness and safety and basically teaching the kids that if they fall in, the right thing to do is get to the edge and get out.
So, firstly I had to consider that I would be getting into the water with her at this point which meant the inevitable trip up to Myer to buy myself some sort of cossie that would cover up as much of my "post baby body" as possible! I presumed that none of the other mums would even give a damn what I was wearing but I still felt self concious about it. After a rather arduous change room session I came to the realisation that all swimwear designers believe that once a woman hits the ripe old age of 37, they should no longer be trying to fit into a cossie!!! What are they thinking?? The teeny weeny bikinis barely cover up one breast let alone both of them and as for the briefs, well, what can I say, if they were any briefer they would be non existant!!! I ended up settling for a pair of "swim shorts" which once submerged in the water, blow up like a balloon around my waist, but they will have to do for the time being!
Anyway, we had a pair of speedos left over from my elder daughter's baby swimming classes that were still in excellent condition so Lotus inherited them from her sister and teamed with her swimming nappies, she was ready to go.
We headed down early for the first class so that I could suss out how it all worked, where was the best place to get changed and so that Lotus could have a little look at what they were doing prior to us getting in ourselves.
All was going reasonably well until it was time to actually get in the water. Lotus was pretty aprehensive so I took it easy and held her up on my hip so that really only her bum and legs were in the water. This made her nervous enough and she began babbling away about unrelated topics until it was time to go in a bit deeper to where our class was beginning. This made her so upset that the babbling became quite loud shouting along the lines of, "i get out, i get out, no, i no like it, no, i get out, no no no, i no like it".
I persisted and took her and joined the circle of eager, happy mums, toting their cute little water babies ready to enjoy themselves for the next half hour. Unfortuneatly for them all, my Lotus was not in the slightest bit interested in their enjoyment factor and wailed, bellowed and high pitched screamed for the next 25 mins until I could bear it no longer and retreated to the change rooms to give her her snacky and get home for a bex and a lie down!
I forgot to mention that Lotus somehow lost the ability to determine where the material of my top finished and my skin underneath started and hence held tightly to it all with her pincer like hands leaving me bruised and battered beyond belief. I had to prise her off of me and I watched my skin stretch out like mozzarella on a pizza! Youch!!!
My favourite part of the class however was when the swimming teacher tried to "encourage" Lotus to "walk" the length of the floating mat to meet me at the other end and "jump" into my arms! This consisted of Lotus getting the teacher's hand in her vice like grip and stiffening her body so that the poor teacher could only drag her along the mat with just her big toes scraping along. When they finally got to the end I had to drag her off the edge and those big toes seemed to have become attached to that mat!
I promised the other mum's that I'd bring them all ear plugs when we return next week!
No wonder I'm mad!
I started her 3 weeks ago at age 19 months. We have started in the "advanced water babies" class which is primarily focussed on water awareness and safety and basically teaching the kids that if they fall in, the right thing to do is get to the edge and get out.
So, firstly I had to consider that I would be getting into the water with her at this point which meant the inevitable trip up to Myer to buy myself some sort of cossie that would cover up as much of my "post baby body" as possible! I presumed that none of the other mums would even give a damn what I was wearing but I still felt self concious about it. After a rather arduous change room session I came to the realisation that all swimwear designers believe that once a woman hits the ripe old age of 37, they should no longer be trying to fit into a cossie!!! What are they thinking?? The teeny weeny bikinis barely cover up one breast let alone both of them and as for the briefs, well, what can I say, if they were any briefer they would be non existant!!! I ended up settling for a pair of "swim shorts" which once submerged in the water, blow up like a balloon around my waist, but they will have to do for the time being!
Anyway, we had a pair of speedos left over from my elder daughter's baby swimming classes that were still in excellent condition so Lotus inherited them from her sister and teamed with her swimming nappies, she was ready to go.
We headed down early for the first class so that I could suss out how it all worked, where was the best place to get changed and so that Lotus could have a little look at what they were doing prior to us getting in ourselves.
All was going reasonably well until it was time to actually get in the water. Lotus was pretty aprehensive so I took it easy and held her up on my hip so that really only her bum and legs were in the water. This made her nervous enough and she began babbling away about unrelated topics until it was time to go in a bit deeper to where our class was beginning. This made her so upset that the babbling became quite loud shouting along the lines of, "i get out, i get out, no, i no like it, no, i get out, no no no, i no like it".
I persisted and took her and joined the circle of eager, happy mums, toting their cute little water babies ready to enjoy themselves for the next half hour. Unfortuneatly for them all, my Lotus was not in the slightest bit interested in their enjoyment factor and wailed, bellowed and high pitched screamed for the next 25 mins until I could bear it no longer and retreated to the change rooms to give her her snacky and get home for a bex and a lie down!
I forgot to mention that Lotus somehow lost the ability to determine where the material of my top finished and my skin underneath started and hence held tightly to it all with her pincer like hands leaving me bruised and battered beyond belief. I had to prise her off of me and I watched my skin stretch out like mozzarella on a pizza! Youch!!!
My favourite part of the class however was when the swimming teacher tried to "encourage" Lotus to "walk" the length of the floating mat to meet me at the other end and "jump" into my arms! This consisted of Lotus getting the teacher's hand in her vice like grip and stiffening her body so that the poor teacher could only drag her along the mat with just her big toes scraping along. When they finally got to the end I had to drag her off the edge and those big toes seemed to have become attached to that mat!
I promised the other mum's that I'd bring them all ear plugs when we return next week!
No wonder I'm mad!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Oh What a Beautiful Morning!
There's nothing like getting yourself worked into a sweat before you even drive out of the garage in the morning, especially when you haven't been exercising!
Yesterday morning was one of those mornings where I felt as though I'd done a 3.7 km run prior to pulling out of the garage for the trek to childcare!
It was all going "well", we'd only had weetbix smeared on the blinds and carpet during breakfast and a small tantrum from Lotus, (the 19 month old), over her desperate need to take every single dvd out of the cupboard for inspection, until, we were down to the 20 minute mark, (20 mins to go before needing to leave the house in order to make it to work on time). It is usually at this point of the morning that I begin to brace myself for the hell that is about to be unleashed, (to quote from the dashing Russell Crowe in Gladiator).
I've headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth, etc, whilst the girls supposedly sat watching the abc and finishing their toast, (their 2nd lot of breakfast as the weetbix weren't up to scratch yesterday apparantly!), waiting for me to return. Instead of this activity, they chose 2 very different forms of entertainment.
Lotus decided to head for my walk in robe where she methodically removed each and every piece of jewellery from my draw and deposited them amongst the shoes never to be found again. She also thought it was just a hoot to bend each silver bangle into various shapes, never to be round and therefore worn, ever again. She also found great enjoyment in distributing the remainder of her toast throughout the, now empty, jewellery draw and then spraying it all in a lovely coating of Emporio Armani She. Just to get rid of that, "unwanted toast" smell!
London, my 4 year old, had other ideas. She was keen to join me in the bathroom so that she could try the various creams and items of make up sitting on the side of the sink. Her curious mind drew her attention to the mascara in its shiny purple container, and I kid you not, in the 30 seconds it took me to gargle some mouth wash, spit it out and turn to wipe my mouth on a towel, she had created a semi permanent tattoo on her face!
So, in the midst of trying to find something to get the damn mascara from London's face, I had to also crawl around and try and collect my items of jewellery out of my shoes, attempt to pull a kicking, screaming, tantruming Lotus from the walk in robe, and finish my own hair and make up.
After lying the kicking Lotus on the floor in the hall way so she could kick the wall down, I struggled to wipe the mascara from London's face, only to be informed that she needed to do a poo. At this point we had 5 minutes till lift off. I sat her on the toilet and returned to Lotus to remove her from the hallway and into the lounge room where , hopefully, she could kick something other than the walls. It was during this manouver that I realised that she had also pooed.
As I wrestled Lotus back down the hallway, still kicking and carrying on, I yelled to London to wait until I came back before she came off the toilet. Unfortuneatly, London hasn't quite got the hang of the bum wiping business yet and still really needs me to help to make sure its all good to go!
So, I'm down in Lotus's room, wrestling, struggling and starting to sweat profusely, whilst trying to get the damn poo cleaned up and a clean nappy on her, all the while yelling for London to wait for me! Lotus is clenching her bum cheeks so she can't be wiped and pushing my hands away and trying to kick me in the chest, and I'm desperately trying to get this done as fast as I can so that I can wipe London's bum, finish getting ready and get to bloody work on time for once!
I finally manage to get Lotus sorted out and head back to the bathroom only to find London missing and the toilet not flushed. I shout for her and she answers back from the lounge where she has returned to watch the abc.
On checking her wiping action I realise that she had pretty much missed most of it and was now in need of new nicks to wear for the day and I still needed to finish my own make up and flush that bloody toilet!
We are now late by 1 minute and I am sweating and panicking and rushing around collecting bags, hats, jackets etc and loading all and sundry into the car ready for our departure.
I decided to load the girls in and go back to finish my face but got side tracked by Lotus demanding her dummy and London demanding a book to read on the trip to childcare.
Therefore, I ended up going to work with just my foundation on and the lip stain without the gloss over the top! Needless to say that my lips felt as though I'd been out in a blizzard all night and as though they were going to crack apart if I even opened them slightly to breathe!
But the best part of all was that I never did remember to return and flush the toilet, which was by the way, the one in my ensuite. So after the beautiful morning, and a day full of demanding clients, I finally returned home to the sanctuary of my bedroom smelling like a mix of the toast and perfume in my jewellery draw mixed with London's poo that had sat in the toilet all day long!
No wonder I'm mad!
Yesterday morning was one of those mornings where I felt as though I'd done a 3.7 km run prior to pulling out of the garage for the trek to childcare!
It was all going "well", we'd only had weetbix smeared on the blinds and carpet during breakfast and a small tantrum from Lotus, (the 19 month old), over her desperate need to take every single dvd out of the cupboard for inspection, until, we were down to the 20 minute mark, (20 mins to go before needing to leave the house in order to make it to work on time). It is usually at this point of the morning that I begin to brace myself for the hell that is about to be unleashed, (to quote from the dashing Russell Crowe in Gladiator).
I've headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth, etc, whilst the girls supposedly sat watching the abc and finishing their toast, (their 2nd lot of breakfast as the weetbix weren't up to scratch yesterday apparantly!), waiting for me to return. Instead of this activity, they chose 2 very different forms of entertainment.
Lotus decided to head for my walk in robe where she methodically removed each and every piece of jewellery from my draw and deposited them amongst the shoes never to be found again. She also thought it was just a hoot to bend each silver bangle into various shapes, never to be round and therefore worn, ever again. She also found great enjoyment in distributing the remainder of her toast throughout the, now empty, jewellery draw and then spraying it all in a lovely coating of Emporio Armani She. Just to get rid of that, "unwanted toast" smell!
London, my 4 year old, had other ideas. She was keen to join me in the bathroom so that she could try the various creams and items of make up sitting on the side of the sink. Her curious mind drew her attention to the mascara in its shiny purple container, and I kid you not, in the 30 seconds it took me to gargle some mouth wash, spit it out and turn to wipe my mouth on a towel, she had created a semi permanent tattoo on her face!
So, in the midst of trying to find something to get the damn mascara from London's face, I had to also crawl around and try and collect my items of jewellery out of my shoes, attempt to pull a kicking, screaming, tantruming Lotus from the walk in robe, and finish my own hair and make up.
After lying the kicking Lotus on the floor in the hall way so she could kick the wall down, I struggled to wipe the mascara from London's face, only to be informed that she needed to do a poo. At this point we had 5 minutes till lift off. I sat her on the toilet and returned to Lotus to remove her from the hallway and into the lounge room where , hopefully, she could kick something other than the walls. It was during this manouver that I realised that she had also pooed.
As I wrestled Lotus back down the hallway, still kicking and carrying on, I yelled to London to wait until I came back before she came off the toilet. Unfortuneatly, London hasn't quite got the hang of the bum wiping business yet and still really needs me to help to make sure its all good to go!
So, I'm down in Lotus's room, wrestling, struggling and starting to sweat profusely, whilst trying to get the damn poo cleaned up and a clean nappy on her, all the while yelling for London to wait for me! Lotus is clenching her bum cheeks so she can't be wiped and pushing my hands away and trying to kick me in the chest, and I'm desperately trying to get this done as fast as I can so that I can wipe London's bum, finish getting ready and get to bloody work on time for once!
I finally manage to get Lotus sorted out and head back to the bathroom only to find London missing and the toilet not flushed. I shout for her and she answers back from the lounge where she has returned to watch the abc.
On checking her wiping action I realise that she had pretty much missed most of it and was now in need of new nicks to wear for the day and I still needed to finish my own make up and flush that bloody toilet!
We are now late by 1 minute and I am sweating and panicking and rushing around collecting bags, hats, jackets etc and loading all and sundry into the car ready for our departure.
I decided to load the girls in and go back to finish my face but got side tracked by Lotus demanding her dummy and London demanding a book to read on the trip to childcare.
Therefore, I ended up going to work with just my foundation on and the lip stain without the gloss over the top! Needless to say that my lips felt as though I'd been out in a blizzard all night and as though they were going to crack apart if I even opened them slightly to breathe!
But the best part of all was that I never did remember to return and flush the toilet, which was by the way, the one in my ensuite. So after the beautiful morning, and a day full of demanding clients, I finally returned home to the sanctuary of my bedroom smelling like a mix of the toast and perfume in my jewellery draw mixed with London's poo that had sat in the toilet all day long!
No wonder I'm mad!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Routine schmoutine!!!
When I was pregnant with my eldest daughter, I made sure that I thoroughly read all that was printed on bed time routines, sleeping patterns, etc etc. You see, sleep is VERY important to me. More important in fact than breathing. If I had to choose between the two, sleep would win hands down! I need my sleep to function correctly as a human being!!!
I am pedantic about sticking to the "familiar bed time routine", which in our house consists of the following:
1. Put both girls in the bath and beg them not to fight over the bath toys, not to stand up in the bath, not to wet their hair and please please please tonight can you not splash the bath water over the entire bathroom.
2. Get their pyjama's out ready to put on and prepare their beds in the vain hope that they might actually sleep in them.
3. Return to the bathroom to sort out the first fight over the Winnie the Pooh bath toys that are coveted like gold.
4. Set the table for dinner, making sure that I have put the correct coloured plates in front of them, as it is probably completely different from the colour that they "just loved" last night!
5. Return to the bath to retrieve the towel that has been dragged into the water and try to mop up some of the mess whilst slipping and sliding on the bathroom floor.
6. Get the toddler out of the bath whilst trying not to slip over and attempt to get her dry whilst she kicks and screams and tantrums as she was having so much fun "swimming" in the bath.
7. Wrestle her up to her bedroom and use all my powers of pursuasion and bribery to get her nappy and pj's on.
8. Return to the bathroom and skid across the wetlands that the girls have created in their this evening to get miss 4 year old out whilst trying to keep miss toddler from climbing back in fully dressed.
9. Allow "miss independant 4 year old" to put her own pyjamas on backwards and then help her when she gets angry because she "can't do it".
10. Sit at the dining table and eat 1/4 of my dinner whilst coaxing both girls to eat the bits they like which usually consists of 1 grain of rice and perhaps a carrot stick for fibre this evening.
11. Let the girls dance with abandonment in the lounge room whilst I crawl around on my hands and knees underneath the table retreiving the bits of dinner, so lovingly prepared, that neither of them liked.
12. Wrestle miss toddler up to the bathroom and get her in a headlock in order to brush her teeth all the while listening to her once again scream "no no no" as though I am trying to murder her when I am fact trying to be diligent with her dental hygiene!
13. Take miss toddler up to her bedroom and give her her bed time bottle and pop her into bed with her music on and kiss her goodnight all the while praying that this is the night the "routine" will work and she will peacefully go off to sleep.
14. Return to the lounge room to coax/bribe/beg miss 4 year old to sit still so she can have her hair brushed out and explain that I am not trying to rip the hair from her head because I am really a mean evil witch who enjoys inflicting pain on 4 year olds with lovely long princess hair.
15. Agree to read 6 stories tonight in return for being allowed to finish brushing out the hair!
16. Head up to miss toddler and put her music back on for her and kindly inform her that it is time to stop calling "mummy, daddy, beep beep, wiggles, mickey mouse" and ever other word that she can think of at the time to get my attention, and go to sleep.
17. Take miss 4 year old off to bed and read said 6 stories whilst answering her myriad questions regarding every story and picture in the books and secretly wishing that the naturally inquisitive mind would just go to sleep now.
17. Head back up to miss toddler and through gritted teeth inform her that it really really is time to stop calling out and go to sleep!
18. Sit in the lounge room watching the clock, listening to the shouts and place bets on how long it will take her to pass out tonight.
19. Finally breath a sigh of relief 1 hour 47 mins later when all is finally quiet and settle down to watch some light entertainment on the tv.
20. Fall asleep half way through the show, only to miss the ending, then drag myself off to bed to get some sleep before it all begins again for the "morning routine"
Great isn't it!
I am pedantic about sticking to the "familiar bed time routine", which in our house consists of the following:
1. Put both girls in the bath and beg them not to fight over the bath toys, not to stand up in the bath, not to wet their hair and please please please tonight can you not splash the bath water over the entire bathroom.
2. Get their pyjama's out ready to put on and prepare their beds in the vain hope that they might actually sleep in them.
3. Return to the bathroom to sort out the first fight over the Winnie the Pooh bath toys that are coveted like gold.
4. Set the table for dinner, making sure that I have put the correct coloured plates in front of them, as it is probably completely different from the colour that they "just loved" last night!
5. Return to the bath to retrieve the towel that has been dragged into the water and try to mop up some of the mess whilst slipping and sliding on the bathroom floor.
6. Get the toddler out of the bath whilst trying not to slip over and attempt to get her dry whilst she kicks and screams and tantrums as she was having so much fun "swimming" in the bath.
7. Wrestle her up to her bedroom and use all my powers of pursuasion and bribery to get her nappy and pj's on.
8. Return to the bathroom and skid across the wetlands that the girls have created in their this evening to get miss 4 year old out whilst trying to keep miss toddler from climbing back in fully dressed.
9. Allow "miss independant 4 year old" to put her own pyjamas on backwards and then help her when she gets angry because she "can't do it".
10. Sit at the dining table and eat 1/4 of my dinner whilst coaxing both girls to eat the bits they like which usually consists of 1 grain of rice and perhaps a carrot stick for fibre this evening.
11. Let the girls dance with abandonment in the lounge room whilst I crawl around on my hands and knees underneath the table retreiving the bits of dinner, so lovingly prepared, that neither of them liked.
12. Wrestle miss toddler up to the bathroom and get her in a headlock in order to brush her teeth all the while listening to her once again scream "no no no" as though I am trying to murder her when I am fact trying to be diligent with her dental hygiene!
13. Take miss toddler up to her bedroom and give her her bed time bottle and pop her into bed with her music on and kiss her goodnight all the while praying that this is the night the "routine" will work and she will peacefully go off to sleep.
14. Return to the lounge room to coax/bribe/beg miss 4 year old to sit still so she can have her hair brushed out and explain that I am not trying to rip the hair from her head because I am really a mean evil witch who enjoys inflicting pain on 4 year olds with lovely long princess hair.
15. Agree to read 6 stories tonight in return for being allowed to finish brushing out the hair!
16. Head up to miss toddler and put her music back on for her and kindly inform her that it is time to stop calling "mummy, daddy, beep beep, wiggles, mickey mouse" and ever other word that she can think of at the time to get my attention, and go to sleep.
17. Take miss 4 year old off to bed and read said 6 stories whilst answering her myriad questions regarding every story and picture in the books and secretly wishing that the naturally inquisitive mind would just go to sleep now.
17. Head back up to miss toddler and through gritted teeth inform her that it really really is time to stop calling out and go to sleep!
18. Sit in the lounge room watching the clock, listening to the shouts and place bets on how long it will take her to pass out tonight.
19. Finally breath a sigh of relief 1 hour 47 mins later when all is finally quiet and settle down to watch some light entertainment on the tv.
20. Fall asleep half way through the show, only to miss the ending, then drag myself off to bed to get some sleep before it all begins again for the "morning routine"
Great isn't it!
Monday, November 16, 2009
No wonder I'm mad!
This happened 3 months ago but nothing has changed. Every day is the same thing for me, and I am sure, most other parents around the world. All I can say is that so long as we laugh about it all, and share our stories with other parents, we CAN get through this!!
I picked up my girls from childcare after a stressful day arranging and rearranging other people's holidays! Lotus, who is 19 months, didn't want to hold my hand and ran straight out into the car park without even a look back! I managed to just grab her by the hood of her jacket and she flung herself backwards into a tantrum nearly slamming her head into the concrete. I then had to wrestle her kicking and screaming and headbutting backwards, into the car seat, to enjoy her lovely screams all the way home! What an enjoyable 15 minutes of my life that was.
Once home, I got us all inside, packed away all of the various bags filled with artworks etc etc and started to cook dinner. During this time both girls, London aged 4 and Lotus, kept coming in and out of the kitchen nagging me for biscuits, non stop. I gave them a few just to keep them quiet and out of the kitchen while I got stuff prepared but they kept persisting for more and more. In the end I gave them a plate of rockmelon, which they both insisted they didn't want, but sat quiet and still for a full 5 mins whilst they devoured it. When they had finished the rockmelon, Lotus came back into the kitchen, put her fork back into the draw, (not the dishwasher), and promptly demanded more biscuits. It was as this point that I realised she had shat!
I turned the hot plates down and wrestled her to the change table where I had to battle to get the nappy and the poo, (which had gone everywhere!), off of her. She fought me so much that the poo went on her singlet, her pants, her feet, her hands and the towel she was lying on. I got her undressed and thought that I had her cleaned up so I let her go nake into the lounge room whilst I put the shit filled clothes and towel into the washing machine to be washed once I had finished cooking.
On returning to the kitchen I found that the dinner had started to burn and that Lotus actuall still had poo up her back. So, I left the burning dinner to chase her around the room trying to wipe the rest of the poo from her. I returned to the kitchen to try and salvage what I could of the dinner and Lotus followed me in, still naked, and got the stool I use to reach the top cupboards, as she wanted to stand at the hotplates and "help". I got her down and she had another tantrum about more biscuits and then she proceeded to wee on the kitchen floor! So I leave the dinner once again to burn further whilst I try and mop up the wee with the tea towel, and all the while Lotus is crying and slipping over in the wee and she is still naked!
After this I put them both in the bath and came back to continue trying to do something about the dinner. The rest of the evening was less eventful and just involved wrestling Lotus into her pj's and nappy, feeding them both a mostly burnt dinner, having to put Lotus into a head lock to brush her teeth and then listening to her scream for 1/2 hour when I finally managed to get her into bed.
I myself fell asleep at the glorious hour of 7.45pm which would have been fantastic, however a friend rang at 8pm for a vent about the kids!!!!
I picked up my girls from childcare after a stressful day arranging and rearranging other people's holidays! Lotus, who is 19 months, didn't want to hold my hand and ran straight out into the car park without even a look back! I managed to just grab her by the hood of her jacket and she flung herself backwards into a tantrum nearly slamming her head into the concrete. I then had to wrestle her kicking and screaming and headbutting backwards, into the car seat, to enjoy her lovely screams all the way home! What an enjoyable 15 minutes of my life that was.
Once home, I got us all inside, packed away all of the various bags filled with artworks etc etc and started to cook dinner. During this time both girls, London aged 4 and Lotus, kept coming in and out of the kitchen nagging me for biscuits, non stop. I gave them a few just to keep them quiet and out of the kitchen while I got stuff prepared but they kept persisting for more and more. In the end I gave them a plate of rockmelon, which they both insisted they didn't want, but sat quiet and still for a full 5 mins whilst they devoured it. When they had finished the rockmelon, Lotus came back into the kitchen, put her fork back into the draw, (not the dishwasher), and promptly demanded more biscuits. It was as this point that I realised she had shat!
I turned the hot plates down and wrestled her to the change table where I had to battle to get the nappy and the poo, (which had gone everywhere!), off of her. She fought me so much that the poo went on her singlet, her pants, her feet, her hands and the towel she was lying on. I got her undressed and thought that I had her cleaned up so I let her go nake into the lounge room whilst I put the shit filled clothes and towel into the washing machine to be washed once I had finished cooking.
On returning to the kitchen I found that the dinner had started to burn and that Lotus actuall still had poo up her back. So, I left the burning dinner to chase her around the room trying to wipe the rest of the poo from her. I returned to the kitchen to try and salvage what I could of the dinner and Lotus followed me in, still naked, and got the stool I use to reach the top cupboards, as she wanted to stand at the hotplates and "help". I got her down and she had another tantrum about more biscuits and then she proceeded to wee on the kitchen floor! So I leave the dinner once again to burn further whilst I try and mop up the wee with the tea towel, and all the while Lotus is crying and slipping over in the wee and she is still naked!
After this I put them both in the bath and came back to continue trying to do something about the dinner. The rest of the evening was less eventful and just involved wrestling Lotus into her pj's and nappy, feeding them both a mostly burnt dinner, having to put Lotus into a head lock to brush her teeth and then listening to her scream for 1/2 hour when I finally managed to get her into bed.
I myself fell asleep at the glorious hour of 7.45pm which would have been fantastic, however a friend rang at 8pm for a vent about the kids!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
